im sad, angry, pissed off and i nid to kill sumone
i spend 3 months of my miserable lyfe to save up to get a pair of havanas for myself
and now, itz gone!
itz gone juz lyke dat?
i wonder where is my havanas now?
it must be sumwhere in a cold, dark place
it must be crying and praying dat ill juz come by and take it away frm dat havanas stealer tinggy
i miss my havanas so freaking much dat my feet is aching
the lost havanas left me walking home in the rain with a pair of filthy toilet slippers under my poor feet!
how humiliating is dat?
curse dat havanas stealer...i hope ur toe wud be stuck in a hole sumwhere
and u cant wear my precious havanas coz ur toe is bundled in a contaminated bandage and it
cant fit in it...hahahahaaha
so BEWARE!!!!
anione hu has a swollen toe wud be my prime suspect!
ill get to the bottom of this... u'll see.
muahahahahaahahahaha

i remembered that faithful day so clearly
it was raining n just lyke every other sunday, i had to attend madrasa frm 8.30 to12pm
i was late as always. waited for darlink hidayah so we'll attend class together
in other werds, we were both late. lol!
so we talked n laughed our oesophagus out as we head to madrasa
wen we reached, i placed my beloved havanas rite next to hidayah's sandals
then we happily went to class
that day, class was kinda boring.... normal lessons
reminding us abt wat sinners we are
i juz sat there n listen. lil' cuzzie was absent as she got sum skool tinggy
poof..... watever
i havent seen her for 2 weeks now. haiz..
zaki told us to stay back for 30 mins after class to discuss abt "perjumpaan hari raya"
i didnt want to go coz im werking and i need to go home and get sum beauty sleep or else, i might strain my muscles. lol!
at 12, i juz wen outta class happily, tinking abt my bed while hidayah stayed
wen i reached the shoe rack, my heart sanked partially
MY HAVANAS WASNT THERE!!
i thought, ok yana, stay clam.... it might be kicked sum where
u juz need to search
n so i searched
AND IT STILL WASNT ANIWHERE TO B FOUND!!!!
ok so now my heart realli sanked
i called hidayah
she told mi to come up to the calss room
i went up and ended up attending the briefing anw
at 1, hidayah went down wid mi to hunt for my havanas
my heart sanked deeper wen itz still wasnt there
i was left wif no choice but to borrow the mosque slippers
n guess wat they gave mi?
a pair of toilet slippers
i was so disgusted wif my own feet that i hate myself the whole way home
i was cursing n swearing under my breath the whole journey
no word cud express how upset i am
itz a realli bad day for mi

n wen i reached home, my stinky bro made fun of mi
i juz hope he's toe wud get stuck too

anw, thankz hidayah for listening to mi whining juz now
i cant help myself
there goes my money

munching on hello panda, sipping on milo
chewing on the straws
the blast of music frm aishah's fon brought back the 80's atmosphere
sitting in the cold com lab in school
i crave for sum1 to wrap he's arms ard mi
hahahaahaha.....so drama

my brain's jammed on what to do for the national day rally speech summary
im waaaayyyy beyond the deadline
i know, i know i can juz scroll thru the net n find sum ans
but itz wrecking the nerve outta mie wif lotsa werds on the web
i mean, cant they juz keep it short n simple
tone down on those werds ppl!!!!
itz giving me high blood pressure and is drying my lenses
i surfed in to this website and found sum info abt the rally
the whole speech actualli, itz juz dat i dun wanna stone myself by reading it
im still a teenager
u cant expect mi to spend 0.00000000000000000000000001%
of my life staring on a screen ful of politically chim werds
lyke hello!!!!
itz bad for the eyesight.
that's what my primary school teacher told mie. humph!!
lol!!

i spend my weekend juz werking, studying and spending sumtyme wif hym
exams are drewing near. it keeps my heart pounding
sumting tells mi to study, but wat abt shopping?
and the telly, and the new edition of russel lee's book?
and the chleo megazine, and the hot guy next door?
there's too many tings that i nid to take care of
im always missing out on my timetable that mom made for mie

this is an extract of saturday's timetable

8.00 - wake up/wash up (that's alittle too early)
8.30 - breakfast
9.00 - tidy up my bed room (hmm...)
10.00 - revision on afd (boring!!)
12.00 - lunch (yumyum)
12.30 - rest (haaa..)
1.00 - continue on my revision (BORING!!!!!!!!)
3.30 - break (yay!)
4.00 - dress up
4.30 - go werk (yay! i can mit him)
5.00 - werk (Zzz..)
11.00 - reach home/wash up (that's too early! i nid to mit him!!)
11.30 - last revision (nooooo!!)
12.30 - sleep (haaaa...finally)

cum on!! gimmie a break!
there's so many missing tings that my mum missed out on!
where's my shopping spree? n my telly?
and wat abt my tyme wif hym? and i nid sum soccer!!
or else i wont live long enuf to lose my virginity!
arrrggghh!!!!
getting home by 11 ist logical at all!!!
i'll die! oh god, show mi the way
y's lyfe lyke this

but aniwae, my mum is wasting her tyme. lol!!
coz i didnt follow it at all!!
guess wat? i woke up at 11 on saturday
how bad can that b? i know, im a piggie
but i cant help it! i long week in school,
i deserve a long sleep to drain away all those sickening formulas
and computerised graghics on my brain.
in other werds, i nid to b well rested
my mom blabber as usual
but hu cares
ill study wen th tyme comes
(i wonder when) lol!

P.S.: i nid to secretly slot in sumtyme in my timetable so i can mit him after werk
(ssshhh...)

he stared into my eyes
i stared back in response
he's finding answers in mi
i dont even know what im thinking
i felt shivers down my spine as he puts his hands at the small of my back
pulled mi closer to him
i placed my arms around his neck
closed my eyes as i felt a warm and soft tingle on my lips
tighten my arms around him
he held me closer into his chest
i cant breath, but i dont mind coz that's where i wanna be
close to him
i leaned harder in to him
i could feel his heartbeating against my ribs
he's breathing and at the same time saying my name
at that tyme, it came to me
he's trying to say sumting
i realise i was biting on his lips
hahahaha....lol!!!!

he leaned back, holding his lips
he looked at mi in pain
he's eyes watering
i must have bite it really hard
omg, i felt realli sorie
i hugged him realli tightly
he hugged mi back
at that point of tyme, i was confused
i looked up at him and said "i thought...ur lips..."
he smiled and said "naaahhh....itz fine, i miss ur bites"
then he laughed and i tickled his ribs, he laughed even harder
we havent met for 2 weeks
and wen we meet, it was juz mi n him without the rest of the werld
i missed him so much
and i still miss him now
hmm......





he asked "do u love me?"
she replied "i do, u love me?"
he replied "yes"
he said "i missed u"
he asked "u missed mi?"
she replied "i do"
he asked "where have you been?"
she kept quiet

tell mie, what does it mean if u give sum1 this:

that u guys are still "juz friends"?

that we dont share ani feelings for each other

and that u dont mind if there's sum1 else in the other person's lyfe

cummon just be honest

being "the one" is a different story

i mean, itz still too early to talk abt fate and the future

i dont expect him to stay in my lyfe forever

i know that i dont tink far

i ken only tink lyke abt 1mm frm now??

lol...!!!

i still haf a long way to go in my life

there's many tings i wanna learn abt the werld

and abt myself

i haf an ambition to chase here

i juz wan him to understand

things wud b different once itz all over

and wen ive gotten wat i lived for

i love him, but many tings haf to be taken to consideration of i were to spend the rest of my life wif him

i know i haf to trust him

but everyone has to earn the trust rite??

ive never caught him red-handed, but ive heard lotz of stories that im sure is true

wat keeps mi hanging on??

that's the question ive been asking myself too

conufused, confused, confused

questions after questions are flooding my brain

haiz....ill die of brain cancer if my lyfe go on lyke this

i cud feel the tumor growing and pulling on my brain cells

lol......!!!!!

i cant believe im soo caught up and drooling over him

sumting mus b wrong wif my brain cells

i mean, cummon!!!

he's juz a 26 year old security guard

wat do i expect frm him??

plus, there's so much better guys out there

feeling unhappy wif myself now

i feel unkempt everyday

i nid to rebond my hair....

cut down on those calories

and rebuild my stamina

how do i do it??

i haf no freaking idea

letz juz see how tings cums out aight

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO SINGAPORE!!!!
yeah, this year is much different frm previous years
met new ppl, new lyfe, new me
hmm... wat shud i describe this national day???
too many human beings mayb??
i mean, seriously!!! ppl are juz everywhere ard eu
bumping into u, wif lotz of diff dress codes and....smell [yuck!!]
itz too hectic and for the first tyme in my lyfe, i actualli appreciate every breath that i take in
there is no air at all!!!
and do u know??
citylink is lyke soo warm with overcrowding of mammals
OH GOSH!!!



i spend this year's national day wif a new group of peeps
akimmm and his's frens to be exact...
hmm, itz wanst dat boring and it wasnt dat enjoyable as i expected
i was juz standing there, watching ppl getting excited over NOTHING
and making fools outta themselves
met akimm at 3, or shud i sae 3.30!!!
akimmm was 30 mins late!!!
no one made me wait, i mean, i make everyone wait
so much for being late almost everydae..
hahaha......lol!
sowie farna, u know wat i mean
yeah, back to the story
after he came, we went to marina to satisfy our belly
and head up up and away to the rooftop of marina square
we had a good view frm there...
wif akimmm's frens
haiz, wat sud i sae, i was quiet for almost da whole outing
i mean, i juz dont clique wif dem
itz lyke mi n them............ NO CONNECTION
i dunno y
datz lyke so nt mie
i usually talk to ppl quiet easily wen im in da mood
well, datz da boring part
and akimm was lyke trying his best to keep mi talking
and not making mi feel left out
itz nt his fault aniwae... n btw, he's trying hard
hahaha, kinda funny wen i tink abt it
wen the firewerks starts, it was BEAUTIFUL!!!!
as i was looking at it, my mind thought abt him
mayb coz he's sumwhere near, but itz far...
itz over but i juz thought wat wud it feels lyke mi being wif him instead
how he used to hold mi and kissed mi on the forehead
he is juz there at the parade itself
he belongs to sum1 else now
ive moved on, but memories of him still haunts mie
i missed him
i juz miss him, and it stops there

so after the firewerks, we hang out
talked abit, laughed abit
den, 10.30 went home
i reached home at ard 11 plus
luck was on my side
my mum didnt burn the house down or aniting
so datz abt it, my national day 2008...